Raccoon.

Yeah, that's what I look like aj kal.

I sleep at 3 a.m. every night (morning?) and am up by 7 a.m.

Pakistan ke ganday mausam will keel me.

I HATE MY TEACHERS.

Everyday ke begair chaye ka maza nai ata, logon ko pata nai kyun Prema pasand hai.

Brown sugar tastes 100% better than white sugar.

I had orange nails yesterday. Aise lag raha tha mehndi lagai hai. Nakhun per. Ew *shudder*

I can't believe I'm so old. Or I will be. In November. But still.

Last year I was a teenager =/

Okay, no I wasn't but what the hell =P

I hope I kick ass in my internship.

I really don't feel like going for a Master's degree, its too hard to work hard =S

I don't like making sense.

Glaringly obvious, much?

Yar, Meine sari pehnni hai. Mein kabhi nai pehni =(

Naushay ki happy burday aa rai hai.

Wowza?

Purple nailcolor is the sexiest <3

Wowza?

Purple nailcolor is the sexiest <3

Lollipops.

There's no reason for the title. I just like saying lollipops. Lollipops.

Ha.

So, today is one of my suckiest days. The list just keeps growing, nai?

Subha there wasn't any light - no surprise there and UPS kharab hai so my fan wouldn't work. I woke up super early even though I slept super late =/

I wandered around here and there, looking for my parents and then I remembered they'd left for.. somewhere =P

Last exam tomorrow, can't study because of damned garmi and OKAY SO I PROCRASTINATE. Sue me.

Light ai 10 baje aur sath he mehmaan aa gaye. Unwelcome, uninvited mehmaan. Then I had to cater to them like a good little bachi and pretend I was thrilled to see them although what I really wanted to do was bash their heads in. Trust me, they deserve it.

Mushkil se wo 2 ghante baad niklay aur sath he DOBARA light chali gai.

Aur kyunke Mashallah se we have no maid aj kal, all the kitchen and cleaning up duty was mine. Oh, joy.

Joy, joy, AGH. I can't study now.

I need new topics to whine about, nai?

Hypnotize.

I wonder how it feels to be hypnotized.
I don't think I could ever let myself be so susceptible to someone.
My department is thinking of calling a hypnotist to show us how it works.
Lol.
I'm never, ever going to participate.
*shudder*

Health Psychology mid-term tomorrow. I am not at all expecting myself to pass. The amount of course is staggering. Also, incredibly confusing. How? I SUCK AT BIO. SUCK AT IT. And I have to learn all body systems and their respective functions (even the chemicals, GAH!) in one night. That's not including the dumb-ass 50 pages long notes on Hypnotism; among other dumb-asses.
Oh come ON.
WHO CARES.
I'm telling you. She's doing this to torture us. SHE IS. This is the same teacher who has a grudge against me.

Ha, my passing THIS paper? Not likely.

Luscious Lips.

Yeah, that's what my lips .... Um. Okay. Haha.

So seriously.

IT IS SO WORTH IT. Its AMAZINGLLLYYY shiny, makes your lips look plumper (yeah luscious, too =P) and looks beautiful. But the plus plus factor is, its sticky and smells great. Sticky is good, very good (and its really difficult to get unless you're prepared to spend over Rs. 1000 for a tiny, tiny gloss that'll fnish in a week =S) because it won't get off easily, like when you're eating and all. The scent is a HUGE point in its favor, cause you apply it right under your nose so you know... Its pretty.

If you're serious about your makeup and looking good, I suggest you get this ASAP. I got the Shine one - go for it if you don't like colored lip glosses =)

March, The 16th.

I don't think I can be what you need. I don't think I'm enough. I don't think I can hold up under it all. I could before.

I can't now.

Its beyond my control.

Its starting to show, isn't it?

La

Someday. Someday very soon, my mood swings are gonna kill me.

Aur ek aur baat.

WHERE ARE ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY READ MY BLOG?!

I miss the attention. I need my fix =D

Wapas ajao.

Yeah, yeah. Crappy posts and all.

So what =P

Last Mids?

I just realized. These are the last (hopefully) mid-terms I'll be giving. At least for a while. It feels unreal, you know? For about 6 years, I've been crying, moaning, whining about how much I hate where I study - don't get me wrong - I still do but... Its sort of hard to believe I'll be getting away from here. Finally. Finally.

Its sort of like when you've been jailed for years and you suddenly get freedom. Lol. But the bad part is I've been so happy about this being my last semester here that I haven't touched my notes. And my first mid-term exam is tomorrow.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. I am still the idiot I was. And it doesn't feel like I'll be changing anytime soon.

Everyone told me I'd be sad in my last few months. I'd start missing it all. I'd cherish every day, every memory. But the honest truth is, I don't. I don't feel like that at all and I know I'm not about to start. No, I'm not that cold a person. Its just... I have more bad memories of this place than I can handle. The good memories are always, always spoiled by the bad ones. Because even when something good happened, the bad would step in and remind me of how good is next to impossible here.

I'm melodramatic. I know that. You know that. But what I said above is the truth. Honest. Its not drama.

And God, how I wish I'm wrong.

Itch.

Its back. She's hyper-sensitive to every sound, touch or thought.

Sound irritates her. Any kind.

Touch irritates her. Every kind.

Her own thoughts make her want to scream.

Frustration, annoyance, irritation, anger, paranoia, fear. Its all mixed up in her head till she feels like she's on breaking point, teetering on the brink of insanity from the force of it. It binds her head in a band till her eyes scrunch up and her breath heaves in shallow pants and she wants to explode, craves it: the explosion.

Craves it.

She clutches at her hair, tearing out the small chunks she's able to in a futile effort to escape the pain. Futile, little girl. Futile. It won't end so soon, so easily.

She moans, her hope dying out.

She knows.

She accepts.

And she closes her eyes in defeat, letting her soul and will flounder away to nothingness till a blessed numbness falls over her.

Blessed Numbness.

Death wins every time, little girl. Every time.

Nuts-o.

So, its confirmed. My teachers have officially LOST IT.

Health Psychology Mid-Term course --> above 200 freaking pages

HRM --> above 200 FREAKING pages

Counselling --> around 50-60 pages

Social --> ...ah forget it.

Seriously? What do they think we are, fucking ROBOTS?! Or what, are they deliberately trying to fail all of us in our last freaking semester?

WHAT DO THEY WANT?

Kulsoom Fatima Reza.

Thursday, March 4th.

10:25 a.m. I woke up.
I decided to have a long, long soak in hot, hot water around 12.
12:00 came around.


ALL THE HOT WATER WAS GONE.

*mumble grumble*