Rainbow Bloodcells.

Ahem. So?

I tried out around 5. None of them worked beyond just okay. NONE OF THEM SHOW MY PROFILE INCLUDING THIS ONE. Dammit.

Khair, tell me what you think. And those of you who liked the previous template, I'm sorry but it was NOT me and it did not change colors, and I could not tweak it a dozen times. Therefore, I hated it.

Argh!

I don't like this template. It doesn't show my profile no matter WHAT I do. And there's no navigation bar either. I hate it.

I'll change it when I get home. Please to have suggestions ready? =P

Desi Tortillas?

Take a day old roti/chapaati. It HAS to be a day or two old. Cut it into small, bite-size pieces. Deep fry in oil/ghee, whichever you prefer, and drain. Sprinkle some chaat masala over it.

Yummy chips/paapri ready.

And it tastes really good =D

Law Of Attraction.

Nope, its not at all what it sounds like.

My mom told me about this program she saw on T.V. (maybe you saw it, too?) where they were talking about the Law of Attraction.

The basic concept is that you take everything positively. You erase each and every negative thought or feeling and never, ever let it appear again. You refuse to accept failure and focus on what to do next and that you ARE going to do it, not how or why or "Nahh, I can't".

Erase can't from your vocabulary. Refuse to accept that you can't do something.

They offered examples like if you're out of a job, you keep on saying "I'm getting one tomorrow, I'll get one tomorrow" and you email yourself, (things are that bad) saying that you got a job. Or if you're not getting your grades up, you just assume that you're getting them soon, and work towards it. The point is that you don't get stuck at failure or when things are at a standstill. Stay positive, stay motivated. People called at the show and said that they tried this and it actually works.

In psychological terms, you're basically altering your mind-set to skip over obstacles and focus ahead, so that the goal that you're reaching towards won't be totally blocked just... delayed.

I'm not a very positive person myself. I know this theory sounds stupid, but what's the harm in trying? It can only make you better, right? Or maybe very retarded.

But anyway... let's try it. See if it works.

Social Psychology.

Lecture 1:

"Today, with the introduction, I'll teach you girls the definitions of Social Psychology. Then we shall discuss them."

We write down 10 of them. We 'discuss' (read: dissect) them till we're S-I-C-K of each and every word.

Lecture 2:

"So. Today we'll discuss the definitions."

One brave soul dared point out that we'd already done so.

"No, we haven't."

We proceed with the discussion. Which is the same as Lecture 1.

Lecture 3:

"We'll do the definitions today."


We stare with out mouths open. I'm not kidding.

Lecture 4:

"Hello, girls. Today we'll cover the definitions and discuss them."

We don't bother pointing out that we've been doing that for more than a week. We discuss the definitions. Again.

Does this woman have a memory disorder or something?

Computer Class.

The very amazing teacher:

"Wo peechay blue green cheez nazar aa rai hai? Us ko desktop bolte hain. Jo us per pahaar hai us ko wallpaper bolte hain. Neechay jo blue danda hai wo taskbar hai. Side per jo cheezein hain wo system tray hai. Pata hai, CPU mein motherboard hota hai? Ghar ja kar khol ke dekhna."

Class - *stares*

24-08-09

I hate Grey's walay. They ended the last episode at a HORRIBLE point. I hate them. I don't even KNOW if Izzie and George are dead! Or not. Hopefully not. I love them both. I hate Derek Shepherd. I HATE THE WAY THE LAST EPISODE ENDED!! ='(

George looks very, very hot in uniform <3.

Pehla Roza.

GUZAR GYA.

HAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Lol. How was yours?

Semester 7.

Well, FINALLY. My last year of Honors. I can't believe I actually reached this point. Better not jinx *touchwood*.

Lol.
Yeah so, my new subjects?

Social Psychology
Clinical Psychology
Psychological Testing
Computer Science

I'm... not very enthusiastic (to say the least) about the first and last subjects. Boring, boring.

Lets see how this one turns out. God, I hope it flys by. I cannot WAIT for this to enddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.

20-08-09

Friends? What are those?

People who ply the air around your cheeks with muah-muahs and tell you "OMG its so good to see you!!!"? Yes, with all the exclamation marks apparent in their oh-so-excited voices.

Or the ones who tell you they love you, they'll always be here for you and NEVER, EVER reply to your texts or calls. Yeah, I see what you mean. Being there. Sure.

Or the ones for whom you have done and will do anything but disappear when you need the same support?

Or the ones who just don't give a fuck, they can't be bothered.

Take your pick. They're pretty much all like that.

No, I am not ranting. This is my experience. Sad, I know. But true.

I do not want 'cheer-up, khair hai, sab theek ho jaye ga, buck up, every thing's gonna be fine' NO IT IS EFFING NOT GONNA BE FINE.

Things aren't ever fine, why hold out on false hope? Waste of time, I think.

Wanna know something?

It could be you I'm talking about. Think about that.

Happier Than I Can Say.

My dad's back from Iraq. Thank God. He went for ziyaraat. Ironically, my dad, the slightly cynical, realistic, down-to-earth guy, who doesn't really believe miracles happen without world-changing events, had a handful of miracles happen to him while over there. In a foreign country. A totally other world. And what happened is not only unheard of, its unbelievable.

I'm happier than I can say that he's back safe and well. And has the sawaab of 70 Hajj. Mashallah.

AND I got an awesomely-hotter-than-hot bracelet =D

What Is Going ON?!

It seems as if my home is falling apart, ever since my dad left for Iraq. No, seriously. First, the T.V. in our lounge just went blank. We were watching it and it went blank and turned off and does not turn on no matter what you do. Then the deep freezer started melting everything inside and is now basically a cupboard, and is leaking horribly smelly water which makes my kitchen smell like dead rat. Then somehow, the button on our water cooler broke loose and we can't fill any more in it cause that leaks too. Oh, our car is also not in proper working order. Then last night, the one remaining T.V. we had pulled the same crap as the first T.V.

Mere A.C. ka remote bhi jam ho chuka hai.

I Wonder.

Does playing interactive games on the computer give you seizures?

I am insanely interested in Teratology.

I wonder what its like to be drunk.

I'm scared of so many things. Is that okay?

I wonder what its like to dance in the rain and not have everybody gasping, fainting, staring in horror at me.

I wonder what its like to write a book. And I wonder how I'll feel if it goes on to be a bestseller. And people love it.

I wonder what its like to have that sense of accomplishment. Of achieving. Something big.

I love babies. I really, really do.

I wonder what its like to lie under the stars and dream big dreams. And not have your people call you inside and then ask if you've lost it.

I wonder what its like to live on top of a huge, huge mountain. In a glass house. In a forest. In Beverly Hills.

I wonder what its like to ride a horse. I'm scared of horses. They're big. I'm not.

I wonder what its like to be responsible for a tiny being. A little human, totally dependent on you.

I wonder what its like to be a flower.

I wonder.

Crap.

I can't speak. Except in weird, hoarse sounds. My brothers stare at me. Then they laugh. And I crack up and OH MAN it hurts. My throat's closed up. And for a person who breathes so she can talk that is HELL.

HELL, I'm telling you.

Nai, mujhe medicinal advice nai chahiye. Thank you.

11-08-09

I am very, very proud to say that I have a friend who has remained one of my bestestest friends for 16 years (Mashallah). Despite her moving to Dubai when we were in Grade 4, despite her coming over only every other year - Its only now that she comes over every year. We meet each other almost every single year except that one time, cause of the Benazir hungama. I refuse to call her 'shaheed', btw. No, I do not care if you are insulted. Whatever she was, she is not 'shaheed'.

Rambling, again.

Anyway, Sashu Pashu, I love you. And I hope we're still friends years later =)

Happy 18th.

Sister of Mine,

I love you. Happy Birthday.

I hate you a lot of times, but mostly you're my sounding board, the shoulder I need, my comfort, my laughs, my gossip-sharer, my backbiting partner... God, so many things.

You are (most of the time) everything for me. Too bad I can't marry you.

Okay, that was a bit much, no?

Haha, I LOVE YOU, I really do. I hope you have the greatest birthday, cause this one's special more than most. I hope I'm still saying this to you 50 years from now.

Or maybe I'll be dead and you'll be out drunk and dancing in bars. Yes, naked.

Happy birthday, again.

Love,

Your Bestest Friend/Family/Foe.

P.S. The random squiggles on the bottom of the picture are deliberate.

Of Beghairti And Bubble-Gum.

Totally out of the blue:

A: Maryam, WHY are women so beghairat now a days?

Me: ... Because they can. Nobody stops them. Why?

A: Its like its getting worse day by day. I swear... Maybe I'm just really old-fashioned. Forget about 'no-one', where are the parents and brothers?

Me: Dude. Everyone's so damn self-involved they don't SEE anyone other than themselves. They're blind to everyone around them. What happened, though?

A: I don't know. Maybe every single album in my FB. My friends are dressing more and more minimal with each one that they upload. Uf. Flashing your boobs, thighs and arm pits to the world is NOT okay. Seriously.

Me: I know! I hardly recognize my friends anymore. Nangi aurtein.

A: Weren't we Muslims, Pakistanis? What is this? This isn't who we are... Not our culture. Not us. Its like nothing shocks me anymore. Its so sad. (belatedly realizing my 'nangi aurtein' remark) LMAO. My sentiments exactly... May Allah bless them with modesty and 'baseerat'. We can all have fun without getting naked for the world you know. Its so fickle. All of this.

Me: Agreed. SEE, YOU SHOULD BLOG.

A: Lol. And be labelled a 'mullah'.

Me: Hahahaha, of course not. I'm sure most people will agree with you.

A: =D. Sorry to eat your head. Just peeved.

Me: Haha, don't worry, its all good.

A: Thank you <3

Me: <3. I like talking to you. You don't talk bakwas. You have stuff to say and its fun.

A: =D. So do you. Beneath your apparent pink bubble gum exterior is a very rooted and grounded individual. Yay, we rule so much, I don't think the nanga crowd can take it. Haha =P

Me *horrified and stunned speechless*: ... Pink. And bubble gum?

A: Lol. Yellow. Sunny side up?

Me: *shudder* I hate pink.

A: Hahahaha. I told you, I'm terrible at explaining stuff. Maybe I am synesthetic. I smell sounds and hear colors. Lol.

Me *still stunned speechless*: My God.

*meanwhile, texting Kasana in a panic, hyperventilating at the mention of pink, bubble gum and me in the same sentence*

Me: Am I pink and bubble gum exterior wise?

MK: Mm. More like beige and mint gum.

Me *staring at my cell, completely dumbfounded*: What's that mean?

MK: That means you're not very pop-ish but to a small extent you are.

Me *again shocked speechless*: ... Um.

MK: What???

Me: Is that good or bad? Lol.

MK: Totally okay, man. Why'd ya ask?

Me: A friend said. That I'm pink and bubble gum. *more shudders*

MK: He/she sucks at analyzing.

Me: Hahahaha yay. She hai =P

MK: -high five-

You Might As Well Know This Now.

This is for all of you.

Yes, I am emotional. Maybe even dramatic at times. Guess what.

I refuse to apologize for that.

Why the hell should I? I don't lie (as far as I know), or cheat, or deliberately hurt people, or steal, or any of the stuff I really should apologize for if I actually did it.

Being emotional, or veering toward emotional extremes and mood fluxes does not make me insane, or a drama queen. It means there's something wrong and that you probably did something to cause it. That's not a claim that I'm never wrong, that its always your fault, but it does mean that I'm not unreasonable. I have reasons for being the way I am. You don't like it, fine. You have a right to feel that way. Just like I have a right to BE that way.

Another thing. Just because I like using proper grammar even while text-ing you does not, I repeat, not make me a snob. It does not mean I'm following this 'trend' of being cool and pretentious.

And the fact that I'm telling you I grew up is not an invitation for you to make a joke out of me. People grow. The better ones do. I do not care if you think that is stupid, but guess what love, it IS true.

That's all. Just had to say. If this makes me sound conceited and snobby... that wasn't my intention.

07-08-09

The term 'Shopping Therapy' in my previous post was used deliberately.

That said,

My sister is working on a project of hers and needs pictures of various musical instruments. The pictures cannot be taken off off the internet, they have to be your own. If you own instruments, please take a few pictures and send them here: sidrareza91@gmail.com.

Thank you.

P.S. If possible, by tonight or very, very early tomorrow morning.

New Therapy.

I've decided that whenever/ if ever I get to be involved in patient treatment therapy programs, I shall introduce a new therapy.

Shopping Therapy.

You may laugh. Yes, you may.

But, I'm telling you. It works wonders for most people I know, especially of the female specie. Oh, yeah.

That means yours truly.

I need help. I really do. I go out, I buy jewellery. I go out, I get more jewellery. HELP me.

But man, I have really good taste =D


...Btw. How do you password-protect selected posts?

05-08-09

I'm warning you. I might get disgusting. But then again, maybe not.

I am going to have two permanent faded lines. Very soon. You know, like those cheap faded denim jeans that have 'Devdas' or 'Paaro' printed on them and look horrible/hideous/horrible but the skinniest men insist on wearing them, and succeed in looking like giant stick insects? Yeah, those. One above my upper lip, one beneath my lower one. From wiping away the constant little pearls of sweat that insist on gathering there, the little stubborn pearly bitches. Pearly, because I am a lady. That a lady does not sweat is beside the point.

Okay, wait a minute. How can a lady not sweat, huh? What, she naturally has the ducts closed or something? I don't get it. Why do they say that? OF COURSE ladies sweat, aren't they HOOMUN?

But as usual, I digress. I do that a lot. Should be a honed skill by now, dontcha think?

I don't want to go back to college. And this isn't some normal reaction to college opening after vacations, this is the real deal, I do NOT want to go back. Really. Even the thought of it... Lets not think about it. The lady shivers and shudders and moans. No, you dirty idiot, not like that.

Oh, what the hell. Imma go watch Grey's.

Possessed Leg.

Around 2 a.m. last night,

Sid *hoarse/sleepy voice*: Meri taang pe beth jao.

Me *staring like she'd lost it* : Pagal ho gai ho?

*snores*

And she was asleep.

This morning, when she came back from school, she went like:

"Raat ko meri taang itni ajeeb si hui wi thi, isliye kaha tha beth jao us per."

Me: Kya matlab, wo numbing se pain ho rai thi?

Sid: Nai, wo khud se hilti ja rai thi, it was moving involuntarily.

*Maryam staring at Sid in pure disbelief*

*wild, cackling laughter issuing from Maryam. Still is*

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAWHAT? WHAT?

Sid: Han na, mein jab be sonay legti thi, *prrrriiinnnggg* idr ja rai hoti thi, *prrrriiinnnggg* udr ja rai thi.





... Can I just please say I'm rolling on the floor laughing.

Cliched, Much?

He lay on the bed, her bed. Still, unmoving. A stranger he was to her; they didn't have any ties binding them. And still, she watched over him, transfixed, as if compelled to do so. She couldn't tear herself away from his bedside, except when absolutely necessary. She cared for him, dressing his wounds, and nursing him back to health. Or trying to. The man was the most stubborn she had ever seen. He wasn't responding to her treatment, not her gift of healing, not her medicines, not her prayers. It seemed he'd lost the will to live.

He was delirious. In some remote part of his mind, he could sense that. How, he did not know. He thought he'd died. He struggled, trying to come to the surface, but succeeded only in worrying the woman caring for him; him thrashing around on her little bed. All he could make sense out of was a scent, something that teased his senses, relieved his mind, soothed his soul.

And existed only when she was near.

So. The stubborn man wasn't responding favorably. She would take matters in her own hands. Quite literally. Taking a deep breath, as if preparing for something that was going to hurt, she lightly placed her hands on his chest, over his heart. Pressing down lightly, she spoke. Her voice was low, but held power. She chanted, words of truth. Of enchantment, of wisdom. Of magic, and love.

In doing so, she took his pain inside her own body, felt the fire that burned him, the dagger that had hacked his arm almost to pieces, the sword that had cleaved the whole side of his leg. Every agonizing second of the battle he'd fought, she relived inside her own mind and body.

A scream escaped from her mouth. Inadvertently. Once, only once. She wouldn't permit herself more weakness. She bit her lip and drew blood, trying with every last ounce of willpower to hold the pain trapped inside.

He arched upwards, and she backwards. As if the hurt and pain they both felt was bending their bodies with the force of itself.

And then it was over. Slowly, she lifted her palms from his chest. They pulsed lightly, still hurting. Her breathing was ragged, as she fought to hold on to her consciousness. She passed her hands softly over his face, his hair.

"Live, or die gently".

Sigh <3

One of my greatest weaknesses.

Bebo.

"Bebo mein Bebo

Dil mera le lo

Dil denay aiiiiiii

Le le jee, le lo"

Alright, somebody help me explain the meaning of this stupid, stupid song. My God. Just LOOK at those horrendous lyrics. They're just... stupid. And so is the movie. Waste of time, really. The only slightly better thing about it is Kareena's wardrobe. Which seems to shoe a lot of skin. Hmm. Scratch the wardrobe. Don't watch, please.

Yes, I know I'm late. But I just saw the song and... Hell, could the Indian film industry get any stupider?!

Yes, my loves, it most definitely can. Just hear the soundtrack of 'Shadow'. God. It makes me actually laugh out loud.

Anyone who knows me at my worst, I love cheap Indian gaanay. Really. They're funny and fun and I love to shock people by bursting into *insert-random-cheap-Hindi-gaana*, complete with all the dance moves. Man. But this is just going a bit too far.

Raat Ko.

So. Do you want to know what my days at home consist of? No, I'm sure you don't, but if you're reading this, hello, you have no choice at all, I'm telling you anyway, and using too many comma marks =)

I watch Disney channel. Yes, ladies and gentlemen (those kind enough to clap their eyes upon this miserable piece of shit I write on, and actually take the time to comment, I worship you =P) I watch Hannah Montana, Sonny with a Chance, Suite Life on Deck, Wizards of Waverly Place and... Yeah. You get the idea.

See, I don't really have a choice. The DVD is in the lounge so I can't watch all those porn movies I rented, damn. No, please don't get excited, I really was kidding. No pornos. But any kinda movie, you know? Chotay bhai and all. Though they're not so chotay anymore. D-boy passed his Matriculation. Yay!

Back to the point. There really isn't one, as I'm sure you've figured out by now, this is just some more random shit/crap/potty.

=)

I finished watching Disney last night and turned to my sister, to maybe relieve some of the stupid boredom but heh, asleep she was, the little beech. Out like a light, totally zonked. I could practically see the 'zzzzzzzz's' in the air. Zzzzzz. Zz.

I turned, desolate, to the youngest chota bhai, being 16 years of age, and therefore, acting like we were all his slaves and alive only to do his bidding. Him. I begged him, yes, begged him to give me the laptop or I would die from the lack of things to do. He gave me this smug, superior look and uttered:

A grunt.

Nope, I didn't get the laptop, though not from lack of trying. And more begging. Khair.

I went to sleep, hoping tomorrow would be a bright, sunny, happy day with lots to do. And that I would get a good night's sleep.

Oh, but NOOOOOOOOO.

I slept for what, two hours? And woke up because. My dad. Couldn't sleep. So he woke everyone up. And talked and talked and talked. With me furious, grumbling/mumbling, sleep-deprived, snarling at anyone who got too close. My sister, ill with the flu. Mom, as always, patient and sweet. My brothers... Well. They loved it that I was so irritated and plain took advantage of the fact. ALONG with my dad. Who is supposed to be MERE ABBA JEE and not my brothers' ally. *grumble mumble*

So we had our nashta at 7 in the morning, naan chanay and poori chanay. Everyone sleepy, but generally laughing and having fun.

And as soon as my dad left for the office (after staying awake all night), we all rushed to our beds and as they say 'ghoray khotay bech ke sonay lagay'. And then Mama woke me up just two hours later. Gah.

Abhi, I have to go. To cook. Chicken kebobs with mango relish and confetti rice. Colorful. Purty.

See you guys, later =)

I think this disjointed rambling was worse than most of my stuff. Well. Forgive me. Lack of sleep, eh.

*edit* Made the khana: