Friday, December 31, 2010

Awardings.

Furree Kat you're brilliant (HAHA). Thank you so much for the award! =)



I'm too lazy and unimaginative to come up with 7 facts about myself so... Yeah I'll just forward it to 7 other people.

S.C. who is sototallycompletely awesome. 

The Me who has one of the most fun and like-able blogs ever.

Qaiser ... just because.

A.T. because awesome-ness to is par khatam hai na.

A.Z. because her blog is cute and sweet and because she's family.

H.K. because she's one of the most creative people I have ever known. Do check out her site.

Fatu - Maa. Because I love her.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Gem # 4.

Maryam: Wanna cookie? ;)

AT: 'Cause I'm the cookie monster?
No, thanks. I have a figure to keep
34-38-36.
Goddamn. ;)

AT: DID I SAY 38
DAMMIT
28.

Maryam: Bus.
Ab to chapp gya

AT: Naheeen
WHERE?

Maryam: BLOG.

AT: Nahin na
my figure's our secret ;)

Maryam: Nope
now the world will know

AT: :(
I'll have to hide somewhere then
The world wants me

Maryam: ...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I asked my client's mom how many people lived with them. She said '30-40'.

I still don't know whether its the truth or not. Oh, well. Goes in my report anyway.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Status-ing.

I started this new status rave too. You know. Give me a number, I'll be oh-so-nice to you on my status. Blah. The statuses were really hard to write because you have to come up with new and inventive ways of telling everyone the same thing. That they're nice and you can't live without them. So, anyway. The interesting thing is the reactions I got after updating my status just cracked me up (and some made me go all 'awww'). One status (honest wala tha ye) went out to a really close friend. Here's what happened (I was too lazy to edit) *gaali alert*:


A: i wana do this thing too. uni ki friend ne kia. oshi ne kia. ap kar ri ho. but i dont have nice things to say about people. LOL

Me: haha i know which is why i wasn't doing this pehle
but i figured what the heck
buri cheezein be likh dun gi

A: isi liay na awesome ho tum.

Me: love you
number bata

12:34am
A: bataya to hai sali
parhti hai nai
bantay rakh le tu
choti to hai he
sath sath nazr bhi kamzoor.

M:=(

A: acha nai mera baby
lamba chaura
gora chita
bilkul sahi nazr wala
mwah:p

M: hahaha kuttiya hai tu

A: han maaloom hai

M: *after status update* ja parh mar le

A: haramzadi he rehna
tu cheap
tera khandaan cheap
teri anay wali naslaein SARI cheap
loser tum
aur tumhara khawand
bas baki mein theek hoon
:p
HOE TERI BHAIN
han now i m fine.

M: hahahahahaha
I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU
KUTTI
BC

A: hahahah i love you too man
were the above stated love notes not enough to show you that :p

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Sab Sahi Kehte Hain.


Psychology parh parh ke waqai pagal ho jatay hain. Proof mulaahiza farmaiye:

Today I had a huge, huge test which included whatever we had studied up till now and let me tell we'd studied A LOT. I got home around 7 p.m. and decided I'd start studying in an hour.

Around 9, I sat in my bed staring at my window.

At 9:37, I pulled the covers over my head and went to sleep.

I set the alarm for 5 a.m., thinking I'd get up extra early and just give my notes a reading.

At 5 a.m., my alarm rang and I switched it off thinking "Aaj to chutti hai, jaldi uth ke kya karna hai?" And then promptly went back to sleep.

At 6 a.m., I woke up in a panic and jumped out of bed, grabbed my books and sat back on the bed. I stared out of my window some more, played with my mobile, messaged most of my friends and then stared out the window some more. Reluctantly, I fingered my notes and made little doodles here and there.

Around 7 a.m., my brain stopped working completely. I took 7 to be 9 a.m. and ran out of my room collecting my stuff, changed into puranay, paindu clothes and ran downstairs. Made chai, grabbed some more stuff and was out of my house and shivering outside in the for by 7:30. I started hyperventilating thinking "GARI KYUN NAI AI ABHI TAK?!" and then I noticed it wasn't 9 (the time I have to leave), it was 7:30.

I went back inside and sat back down very happy. Because now I could play It Girl and download stuff. No need to study for the test, OH NO. So that's exactly what I did and then went at my usual time.

When I came back home, I asked my sister "Tomorrow's a holiday for you too, right?"

Sister (Sid) *staring at me like I'd grown another three heads* "SHABAAAASH. Kahay ki chuti hai, beta? Aap ko be chuti nai hai".

Me "Oh... I thought kal Saturday hai".

Sid *more staring and shaking her head* "..."

P.S. This guy at my university added 8.5 teaspoons of sugar to a minuscule excuse of a Styrofoam cup of chai.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

11-Dec-10

Bohat gaaliyan parein gi mujhe is header per. Koi baat nai. Change is good. Even if its... Like that.

Acha.

And thank you to all those who commented on my previous post, you guys are the best.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Plague.

I'M the plague. ME. Guess why? Two reasons.

1. I cover my head.
2. I'm Shia.

Bus jee. I didn't know I was contagious. Where I study now, the friends I used to have in school are of course horrified by both these things. And even for those who've been really close friends for years? I'm a problem. Because I don't go out in Muharram (no, not because I'm 'forbidden', I choose not to), I don't listen to music or watch movies AND OH MY GOD HOW TACKY IS THAT.

A friend of mine, someone I've known for YEARS called me up specially to make me admit somehow that I (being Shia) am wrong about all my concepts about religion, I live in a fantasy world, I'm a masochist and whatever I do during Muharram is apparently completely senseless and ridiculous. I have only two simple words to say in response:

Fuck off.

I have never engaged in religious debating because it always ends up turning into a massive fight, and also because I really don't care what the other person perceives religion as. Everyone follows their own school of thought, I leave you alone, you should have the respect to leave ME alone. But this is insane, most of my friends calling me up and telling me how wrong I am, how I'm 'dozakhi' and I should convert now, before its too late.

No disrespect meant to anyone but why is it your problem? It has absolutely nothing to do with you. Why SHOULD I convert to whatever point of view, school of thought or religion you want me to? What business is it of yours if I believe what I believe?

Upar se ye bloody insensitivity. Nahi pata ek cheez ka to mut bolo. Senseless nonsense le kar shuro ho jayen ge sab. I have to listen to this every bloody year (pretty sure all practicing Shias do) but this year its getting so bad I don't know what to do.

I've said it to you in person (in nicer terms) and you didn't understand. So here, I'll spell it out for you:

Leave me the fuck alone.

P.S. This is a very condensed version of what I actually wanted to say. But I can't. So... yeah.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Sab He Bhookay Hain.

A: Kal F shayad cake laye. Birthday ka.

Me: Acha? Oh ho, meine wish nai kiya.

A: Waise confirm nai hai. Per kar do. Meine be kiya hai. Cake anay ke chances barh jayen ge =D

Me: Pehle bolna tha!

Me: Kar diya text =D

A: Tum bhi bolna cake lao. Shayad waqai le aye. Hamari supervisor be bol rai hain usay.

Me: ...

Thursday, December 2, 2010

KAHA tha na.

What mental disorder do you have?
Your Result: Manic Depressive
You have extreme cycles of highs and lows.  Sometimes you feel like you don't know who you are.  One week you could be very hyper and happy and the next week you are slow and depressed.
ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)
GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)
OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
Paranoia
What mental disorder do you have?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz


Meri behn to boht he kharab hai, bichari.

What mental disorder do you have?
Your Result: GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)
 
You can never seem to calm down and always feel anxious for unknown reasons.  You tend to not be able to concentrate and have headaches or other anxiety symptoms.
Manic Depressive
 
Paranoia
 
ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)
 
OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
 
What mental disorder do you have?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

B.M.

I officially have this huge crush on Bruno Mars. Yeah, yeah I know, everyone does. BUT I was one of the firsts so... Oh well, its still dumb.

Who Is.
Grenade.
Runaway Baby.

*dil*